Cabbage Leaves — Vol 45

Reclaiming the tit, keeping up with my creative side and rating men in elevators.

It’s been a heavy few weeks in this horrible country. So many have lost their lives to senseless gun violence. I feel like we wake up to something new every day, extremely dishearting and downright scary. I don’t take the time we spend together for granted and I hope it brings a smile to your face amidst the train wreck of a country we live in.

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Whew chiiilleeee…I am tired, OKAY. 

We haven’t chatted in three weeks, and a lot has happened since then. First and foremost, a bish took her boobs back. Like my boobs are no longer property of John-Joseph Marlowe! 

As I mentioned in Vol 39, breastfeeding is hard AF. I took my nips away from JJ, probably around 3/4 weeks. I’ve been exclusively pumping up until last week. And while pumping was slightly more manageable for me, the shit was still hard. 

And let's talk about the mindfuck you have stopping pumping during a nationwide formula shortage! I went back and forth so many times about stopping, but eventually, I had to make the right choice for me. We are BLESSED that the formula we use is on a monthly subscription, so we don’t have to be out here searching. 

Sending good energy to all the parents out there who are struggling to find formula; it's got to be hard. 

We have a pretty full lunch today. We are having cabbage because that is what I had in my bra for about a week straight to help dry up these boobs. And then I cooked the leftovers in a crockpot with turkey sausage. 

Here’s a quick recipe: 

• Warm up your crockpot with a stick of salted butter, 1 cup of chicken or vegetable broth, and the seasonings of your choice. Let that simmer for an hour. 

• Add your chopped cabbage and another cup of broth, and let that cook solo for another hour. 

• If you want to add meat, chop up some smoked turkey sausage and throw that in the pot and let it all cook together for 1-2 more hours. 

This whole meal will cost you under $10! FYI - this is my favorite smoked sausage to use. 

Well more to chat about in today’s topics. Please sit back and let's ki-ki.

Topics: 

• More First 

• Hobbies 

• You’re making me high 

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More first

We took our first road trips with John-Joseph! For Memorial Day, we went to Charleston, and last weekend we visited one of my best friends outside of Charlotte. He did fantastic in the car! 

But let me tell you, traveling with an infant is no easy task. While it was fun exposing him to new things and scenery, our entire trip was planned around his feeding and nap schedule. 

While it seems cute to take a baby to the beach, it wasn’t ideal, especially for a baby who can’t sit up on its own. And the sand was everywhere. I don’t know why it was annoying to me; that is how the beach is. 

Another first that happened was I solo parented for four days. Bae was out of town, just the boy and me. While I did have help from our doula and new nanny for a few hours on two of the days, it still was all me. 

It was exhausting, but I enjoyed the one-on-one time we spent with each other. We even went on a dinner date at the country club one night. 

Now, this first is a hilarious first. I don't know how folks with long nails deal with babies in diapers. Because I’ve kept my nails short like nubs ever since I had JJ, and I had poop under my nail for at least 2 hours one day and didn’t know until I went to cut my nails down. 

Before you ask, yes, I washed my hands after I changed his poopy diaper, but I didn’t think to scrub under my nails. 

When I got to my pinky nail to cut down, I said, “what is this under my nail?” And then it hit me; it is shit. 

Welcome to parenthood! 

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Hobbies 

Since I’ve sold BWL, I’ve had sooooo much free creative time. I’ve started working on our lunch dates a week before we have them versus 1-2 days before. 

Lunch with you has kept my creative side alive, something I was worried about when I handed the reigns to my social media experience over. 

I’ve been enjoying Instagram much more now as a regular user than someone creating content for the masses. Cause listen, that shit is complex and demanding. The beginning is fun, exciting, and cute, but folks want more and more and even more. That’s when, for me, it’s no longer a good time. 

I’ve said this before, but I don’t know how influencers keep up with the demand. Especially ones that are parents. 

I wanted to test out documenting my entire day while I was solo parenting and wheeewwww. Not for me. But the Tik Tok I made is super cute. Hats off to all the consistent content creators out there. 

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the Monday Lunch Instagram page and doing something more with it. But I am unsure of what to do. 

Do you have any ideas?

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You’re Making Me High 

When you think of the top female R&B artist of the 90s, you would be a fool not to mention Toni Braxton. 

Sis had a stellar debut self-titled debut album in ‘93 that produced FIVE hit singles. 

1993 was a BIG year for R&B albums. 

Jodeci, Diary of a Mad Band, Janet’s self-titled album, Music Box by Mariah Carey, For the Cool in You by Babyface, Hummin’ Comin’ at ‘Cha by Xscape, I’m Ready by Tevin Campbell, and many more. 

And when she dropped her 2nd album, Secrets, in 1996, she had even more competition: 

• Ginuwine…the Bachelor

• Maxwell’s Urban Hang Suite

• Another Level by Blackstreet

• One in a Million by Aaliyah 

• Home Again by New Edition 

• New Beginning by SWV

Again, I can keep going. 

But with all of the competition, Toni still made her mark on that decade and blessed us with some of our all-time favorite anthems. 

What’s your favorite Toni song? 

Mine: Love Shoulda Brought You Home. 

Don’t you see Marcus & Angela every time you hear this song? And if you don’t know who I am talking about, shame on you! 

What’s your favorite Toni video? 

Mine: You’re Makin’ Me High

Tisha, Vivica, and Erika aka Maxine Shaw made this video A1 in my book. The whole rate sexy men in an elevator scene was very appealing to my barely 11-year-old self. 

*extreme sidenote* If you are an 80s baby, we are the generation that grew up on music videos. If you had cable TV growing up, you were watching music videos. And in certain cities, The Box came on regular network TV. Music videos were life. They gave us young and absent-minded pre and early teens of the 90s a fictional narration of what life as an “adult” would look like. I couldn’t wait to be in high school because of Mya’s ‘98 Movin’ On music video. Or go to a house party due to Notorious B.I.G’s ‘94 One More Chance. We need to ki-ki one time over our most influential music videos of the 90s and maybe early 00s. 

Okay, I am back. 

Tell me when we got to see Maxine Shaw as herself, Erika? Before this video, all we saw of her was her character. This video gave us a glimpse of who she is. 

Oh, last thing. This music video introduced us EARLY to who Bryce Wilson is. 

I am going to WOW a few of y’all with this. 

Did we know that this man was half of the group Groove Theory?! Tell Me is a culture classic. Tell me you do not start two-stepping when you hear that beat drop? 

While Bryce was not the vocal talent of the duo, he was still a part of this group. Groove Theory didn’t have many hits, but Bryce went on to have a pretty decent entertainment career. 

He not only starred in Toni’s You’re Makin’ Me High music video, but he also co-produced it with Babyface. Then he appeared in many TV shows and films; Trois, Hair Show, Beauty Shop, The Game, and more. 

I didn’t know any of this. I recognize his face from TV, but I never place his face anywhere else in the industry. 

Okay, enough about him, back to Toni. 

So rumors have it that the reason Mint Condition fell apart is because of keyboardist Keri marrying Toni. Keri quit the group to “settle down” with Toni. And when that happened, the group wasn’t the same anymore. He wanted to help “manage” Toni’s career. Buddy saw the talent and said, “let me hop on this right quick.” 

Then another rumor is that she was in a love triangle in ‘96 with Dallas Maverick players Jason Kidd & Jim Jackson. They say Toni caused so much commotion between the two star players that BOTH of them had to get traded. 

The urban legend goes that Toni broke plans to hang out with Jason to go kick it with Jim, and Jason got wind of it and was super salty. This rumor has been confirmed and denied by a few parties. What you think?! 

We can’t end our Toni ki-ki without discussing her and Birdman. 

Were you just as shocked as I was when you found out they were an item?

The two met when Toni was featured on Birdman’s 2002 single “Baby Can You Do It.” I can’t tell you anything about this song or even how it goes. They didn’t turn their relationship romantic until 2016.  

I don’t see it. But I guess she does because they’ve had a back-and-forth love affair since 2016. Whenever I’ve heard her speak about him or their relationship, she always says that he is an amazingly thoughtful and caring person. 

As long as you happy sis. 

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Well, friend. This was a nice ki-ki today, right?! I enjoy having lunch with you. I hope you feel the same way. 

Before I go, two things: 

All of my dating stories, Issa No For Me, now live on MondayLunch.co! Go back and visit anytime for a good laugh. 

Happy Pride! 

See you after Juneteenth. 

xo, Jemia