Discover more from Monday Lunch
Yellow Cake w/Chocolate Frosting — Vol 42
Let's eat some cake and take a nap. How does that sound?
I am hella surprised I showed up to lunch today. Behind the lunching scene, I have been planning my husband's 40th birthday. We had 60+ people celebrate with us over the weekend; many folks came from out of town.
I have to pat myself on the back for my stellar wife + mom performance. When’s the last time you boosted yourself up for a sec?
I was car-less for about a week. Having my car in the shop the week before an event you are planning is the worst. Now my husband & I were sharing one car between the three of us because JJ counts even if he doesn’t drive.
Wednesday, we celebrated our women’s basketball team downtown at the parade honoring the national champs. Surprisingly JJ did great in probably a too loud event for his baby ears. But he napped the majority of the time right in mama’s arms.
I finally got my car back Thursday morning just in time for some last-minute party errands and pampering.
Friday, our guests began to arrive, and folks wanted to see JJ. It was my husband's birthday weekend. But I feel like folks came in town not just to party but also to see the adorable tiny human we created.
Granted the main event was Saturday night, we still met up and mingled with folks the entire weekend.
We had drinks on a rooftop, an intimate group got to meet our son, and we partied the night away at the art museum downtown in style.
My behind even got up at 7:30a and cooked Easter brunch at home for folks to stop by. Talk about hostess with the mostest.
But frfr, planning a birthday party that requires bartenders, caterers, a photographer, DJ, and several other vendors is no joke. I’ve planned parties before, but they have always been DIY and on a much smaller scale. This was on a whole different level, and I am so proud of how things turned out.
The kicker of the entire experience was JJ. Coordinating calls around his nap time, trying to arrange meetings at the museum when Dad was home, although one time JJ came with, and rushing to send emails during screaming moments pretty much describes my planning process.
And I would do it all over again because there was NO way to let such a milestone pass my husband by without a huge celebration.
So to those Monday Lunchers who ventured to our quaint southern city for the weekend, THANK YOU. I enjoyed seeing you, and I love that you showed up to celebrate the most important person in my life. Means the world to me.
Plus, we had a damn good time. That open bar caught a few folks up. 😂
Okay, so about today’s topics.
It’s been a busy couple of weeks, so we will keep it light and cute today while we nibble on my hubs leftover birthday cake.
As kids, we were excited for the day we could call ourselves a teenager (13). Then after that, you want to be 16 because 16 sounded grown enough, and for most states, it was the age you could drive, which brought many teens their first sense of independence.
The next milestone was 18. Now you can “legally” (because I know many of us used fake IDs; I know I am not the only one) go to the club and are considered an adult. You can make decisions without the consent of your parents, and while that sounded good before you hit 18 when you actually turn 18, it’s not as fun as you think.
Twenty-one is exciting for two reasons, you get to “legally” drink (but we know most of us had our first taste of alcohol well before this age), but it gets you out of a weird age, 20. You are now longer a teen, but you can’t drink. IMO, 20 is the most dreadful age of that decade.
After 21, nothing hits until 30. And from there on, every decade you reach is an even more beautiful celebration. Although the gram makes you believe you gotta celebrate your Jordan year or when you hit a quarter of a century. Every year of life is a celebration for sure, but if we are honest, after 21, it's really about celebrating 30!
I’m sure you’ve said this to yourself on more than one occasion, “By [insert age] I will…”. We use our age as markers for significant life goals for ourselves. Often those are milestone ages. By 30, I want…, or before 40, I want…, creating deadlines, good or bad, for ourselves.
And with every age that we turn and we don’t achieve whatever we set out, we are a little hard on ourselves.
Why is that? Why are we so hard on ourselves when another birthday rolls around and we haven’t checked a specific box yet?
Listen, some things are easier to handle (not easier, easier to handle because you have more resources available) when you are at a certain point in your life, and sometimes age has to do with it.
With time, experience and age comes unexplainable wisdom. I am way more clearheaded now, and I have made much better life decisions over the last few years than I ever have done before.
My husband turning 40 looks different to me than before. Forty used to seem old 15+ years ago. Now I look at it as a point when life hits a beautiful turn, and things just keep getting better and better.
What he has accomplished in the last five years of his life deserves the utmost celebration, and we are just getting started.
So to the person who is down about not reaching a specific life goal by a particular [milestone] age, give yourself a break. Life can switch in the blink of an eye. And when you look back, you will be thankful that everything happened when it did because it was right on time.
Stop pressuring yourself with timelines. Love yourself and the beautiful life you currently live.
Not only was this the first time planning a considerable-sized event solo dolo. It was the first time I had spent two nights away from JJ.
Huge shout out to my mom for keeping my son for the weekend while we partied, but this mama went through it on the first night away.
I still woke up at 3a because that’s typically when JJ wakes up to eat, and instead of feeding the baby, I lay awake in the bed looking at pictures and videos of my little panda bear for at least an hour.
Around 7a, when Julian finally woke up, I already had my sad face on. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him, “I just want to go home.”
He understood where I was coming from but also helped remind me that we need to take advantage of the time we do get to spend just the two of us uninterrupted. I needed that; he was right. JJ was in good hands, and there was nothing I needed to worry about.
I can see how folks get caught up and lost being a parent. Your priorities shift immediately in the blink of an eye. You no longer think for yourself. You have to do it for someone else who has limited ability to tell you how they feel.
But it can’t always be about the kid[s]. Parents have to take care of themselves and their partner or spouse.
So when day & night two rolled around, I was like JJ who?! JK, but I was much more relaxed and in the moment. And I have my husband to thank for that.
Let me go. JJ had his 2- month appointment to get his shots this morning, and I just want to stare at him for the next couple of hours just because.
See you next month!