Bagel w/Cream Cheese 🥯 ⏤ Vol 36
Life is about dreaming, so why don't we do it more often.
Happy Martin Luther King Jr Day! I hope the man gave you today off, if not…
If only it were that easy.
Today we are having a favorite pregnant snack of mine, a bagel with cream cheese. Lately, I’ve been on Cinnamon Rasin bagels, but I am A-OK with a plain jane too.
But let’s talk about this ridiculous cream cheese shortage for a sec. I don’t know if you’ve tried to purchase cream cheese over the last month or so, but it’s damn near impossible. Like all that is left is vegan cream cheese (🤢, I’ve tried it) and a few containers of the garden vegetable flavor (hard ass pass).
The shortage is due to a cyberattack against the largest US cheese manufacturer. Who would have thunk?
Anywhoo, I was at the grocery store on Friday getting my milk, bread, and eggs (not literally, more like ice cream & pasta) because they were calling for a winter mix over the weekend in South Carolina, and I know folks are going to act up like the sky is falling. Annnddd my power went out while typing this 👻.
Since discovering there was a shortage of cream cheese, I always check the shelves every grocery store visit to be sure. And what did I find on Friday? A double-wide size of Philadelphia Cream Cheese hidden on a bottom shelf tucked in the back. Jack MF’ing Pot is what I texted my husband with a picture of the pot of gold I found. Listen, pregnant cravings are no joke.
Let’s get into today’s topics.
Martin Luther King Jr is most famously known for his “I Have a Dream” speech in Washington, DC, on August 28, 1963.
So let’s chat about dreams for a little bit.
Do folks even dream anymore, or is everything a goal or checked box? As a kid, I used to have huge dreams. I used to want to be a veterinarian for a little bit. Then I don’t know what switched, but suddenly, I wanted to be a beautician, and that stuck with me for a long time.
I would draw a layout for my beauty shop all the time; one version never sufficed. Besides the area to get your hair done, it would also have a spa, restaurant, and clothing boutique inside. I also think one version had a barbershop that my make-believe husband worked at. This started as a dream but, I wanted to make it a reality. I had researched the beauty school I wanted to go to and everything.
And then, one day, my dream got shut down by the higher-ups. It was either go to a 4-year college or get out the house, aka my interpretation of get a job.
And that’s the story of how I ended up in college.
Since my beauty school dreams were crushed, I think I forgot about making them for a long time.
So, of course, I put my research hat on and discovered the difference between a dream and a goal.
This is the biggest difference between the two — Dreams are something you create in your mind that can take any shape or form, while goals are based on taking action.
Dreaming stretches your imagination and ultimately inspires you to take action to achieve that dream. This is when goal setting should enter the arena, not before. I always started with a goal and then worked to put a plan together. But when I met my husband, I learned how to dream again.
We’ve been talking about one big dream since the beginning — retire in Portugal and open up a coffee/bookstore.
It’s a dream we talk about all the time so it never fizzles out, and we’ve already begun to take steps towards making that dream a reality which is where goals come into play. But these goals are much more intricate and in-depth than the goals I think most of us make throughout the years.
We set goals to lose weight, pay off debt, and read more books all the time. But what about those BIG dreams, those dreams that will take years, maybe decades to achieve. Where are those at?
When’s the last time you made a 15-20 year goal?
We’ve begun meeting with our financial planner to make sure we are setting our growing family up for this dream, and we consistently research which franchise we want to invest in one day to prepare us for owning our business. We’ve narrowed it down to one that I keep speaking life over.
I’ve gotten back to dreaming big. What are some of your dreams?
Might seem kind of left field discussing this topic on a day we celebrate a Black historical figure, but at the same time, I also think it’s fitting.
I’m tired of Black trauma in TV and movies.
The latest series to hit the airwaves is Women of the Movement, which is based on the true story of Emmett Till and his mother Mamie Till-Mobley.
I know this story, and hopefully, you do too. I’ve read about it in books, visited exhibits at museums, and probably saw a doc to two about it.
I completely understand it’s a story that needs to be told for those unaware.
But I can’t keep watching historical shows about how my people were treated back then that don’t look too much different from how they are treating us now.
And maybe it’s just this particular historical drama miniseries that irks me because that damn white woman who accused Emmett of “inappropriate behavior” came out in 2008 and admitted she lied about part of her story from 1955. But since the confession wasn’t on tape and just written down by the interviewer, it was inadmissible in court. They did reopen the case in March 2018 with the new information, but the case was closed just this past December with no change in rulings or judgments.
So is this part going to be in the miniseries? Because that is the story I would like to be told. The story of the white woman lying on this 14-year-old Black boy, costing him his entire life.
There are so many other beautiful things about our culture that can be shared, but it seems the media loves to open wounds up that we still haven’t healed from and probably never will.
IMO, there is a way to discuss and share what we’ve been through as a culture without making us relive painful moments.
“I also worry that so many movies about slavery risk defining African Americans’ participation in American history primarily as victims rather than as victors in a continuous battle for economic and social freedom.”
- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
My Answer: Fruitvale Station
I just got mad all over again typing my response.
December 22 - January 19 marks the BEST season of the year. I’ve said this before, but we end and begin every year. It doesn’t get any better than that.
So let’s end today’s lunch with a little ki-ki + gossip on some fellow Capricorn stars.
Tyrese (December 30) — Somewhere along the way we lost Tyrese. He went from the cute 16-year old who sang in the Coca-Cola commercial, to one of our favorite movie characters, Jody, at 23, to the guy who posted a picture on IG that depicts white people as slaves to black people and manicurists of Asian people. Not to mention all of his relationship and crying rants he’s had over the years on social media. I just don’t get it.
LeBron (December 30) — This is one major athlete that you NEVER hear much about in the blogs. I mean he runs a tight ship. I don’t want to assume he out here-out here, but…*shrugs*.
Back in my Atlanta finger-popping days (prob somewhere around 2010-11), I went to Gold Room with some friends who were in town from Cleveland. It was a bunch of us, so we all met up at some hotel lobby to all ride together to the club. I had no idea who was going to be there, I was just told hey if you want to roll tonight meet us here. So when I get there, I was rather shocked to see young LeBron just aimlessly sitting in the lobby in the mix with folks I knew.
Anywhoo, when we get to the club, we were not allowed to use our phones in the section and Bron had a barricade of guys surrounding him, so you couldn’t really see who he was dancing with or talking to unless you were in the section with us. Young Bronnie might of had a few tings going on. I’m sure over a decade later, he isn’t acting the same. Fingers crossed, cause I love him and Savannah almost as much as I love Steph & Ayesha.
Tina Knowles (January 4) — Born Celestine Ann Beyonce, Tina gave her maiden name (actually spelled Beyincé) to her firstborn daughter. Miss Tina got it baby. When Bey said this line in the Savage Remix w/Meg Thee Stallion
And my mama was a savage, nigga, got this shit from Tina
She wasn’t lying. They are a super-cute Mother-Daughter duo. If I had a daughter, I would want her to look back at the young Jemia, and be like “Yup my momma was IT”.
And did we know Tina new husband was in so many movies and TV shows?? Maybe I just missed this but buddy was in, Sugar Hill, Poltergeist, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Guess Who, and For Colored Girls to just name a fraction of his filmography. And he appeared in TV shows like Amen, Shaft, Moesha, Parent Hood, Sister Sister, The Bernie Mac Show, Half & Half, and more. Not to mention he is a very handsome-looking man. Very!
Mary J. Blige (January 11) — All hail queen Mary! There is so much I want to say and chit-chat about MJB, but I have to save it for it’s own volume one day. Way too much to discuss. Last year on her birthday I broke down every track on my favorite album My Life and what it means to me. Check it out here.
Issa Rae (January 12) — Born Jo-Issa Rae Diop (another first name I did not know) our good Sis was born in LA, but she lived in Senegal for a short stint in her childhood, and then she spent a good amount of time (up until 6th grade) in Potomac, Maryland. Ok girl, I see you got a little Maryland in your blood.
What Issa has done for the Black creative culture is beautiful. Once she started her creative journey, she always focused on uplifting and putting our communities first. And let’s not forget, she ducked off to France and got married without any of us knowing. Listen, I love it.
Aaliyah (January 16) — If you missed my entire volume dedicated to babygirl, go back and check it out. It’s one of my favorites.
Sade (January 16) — Born Helen Folasade Adu (did not know this) this soulful star lives the life that I admire. You can never find anything on Sade. You never know what she is up to. You don’t know what she looked like in 2021. When she wants to let the public know, we will know. I love this for her.
In ‘96 she gave birth to a daughter who sang on her 2010 song Babyfather. In 2016 during National Coming Out Date, Sade’s daughter came out as a transgendered man named Izaak Theo Adu and thanked his mother for her unwavering support during his transition. ❤️ He doesn’t even post her on his IG, he probably know better.
And why do older Black folk love to put an R in this woman's name, calling her Sharde? Where do you see the R at?
Honorable mentions to these stellar Caps — Blue Ivy, Michelle Obama, LL Cool J, Regina King, Denzel Washington, Betty White, and of course Martin Luther King Jr.
Diary of a Groupie by Omar Tyree — This 2003 novel reads just like how I would expect it to. I picked this up at the local Goodwill for some nostalgic reading and it served its purpose. Plus, I’m a journaler and this book was about a woman keeping all her juicy thoughts and secrets in a diary. Felt real familiar.
We binged all three seasons of Succession. My goodness, what a fucked up wealthy white family this serious portrays. My favorite characters are Greg & Tom. Whatever their relationship dynamic is, it’s hilarious.
I officially said goodbye to @BlackWifeLife in a post on IG Sunday. While it was hard for me to walk away from something so massive that I created and also trademarked, I felt it was the right thing to do.
I wrote a heartfelt blog about walking away from my then 108,000+ audience. The social game is fun, but it is tough work!
Well friends, it’s been great having lunch with you. Next time we break bread (Feb 7), I may or may not have a plus one in the house. I am counting down the days, 26, until we get to meet our mini-us.
Bare with me y’all as I am still committed to having lunch with you on the 1st & 3rd Monday each month with a newborn probably hanging from my boob. 😵💫