Pho 🍜 ⏤ Vol 35
Happy New Year Friend! Welcome to 2022!
How did you spend your NYE? We kept it cute and ordered Pho from our favorite (probably the only) Vietnamese restaurant in our area and watched CNN once again.
In my opinion, there is nothing better on TV on New Year’s Eve than watching Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, and Don Lemon live their best lives. You can never guess what will come out of their mouths or what will happen.
Are you making any resolutions or goals for this year?
I looked back at the goals I set for 2020 and 2021 the morning of the 1st, and I decided that I would do away with traditional goal setting this year and focus on being present in the things that I love and enjoy doing.
So this year, I’m simply focusing on becoming an awesome mom, reading good books, sticking with therapy, and not missing a Monday Lunch with you. Simple.
Well, let’s get into today’s topics:
The Club
Big Daddy
Boy or Girl
The Club
Did your parents drag you to church to bring in the new year when you were younger? My mom sure did. I remember counting down the years when I was a teen to go to the club instead of church on New Year’s Eve.
The last time I went to a club-type atmosphere for NYE was in 2016. It was one of those massive hotel ballroom parties in DC. I reluctantly said yes to a date that turned out to be horrific. He wore a pre-Marjorie Steve Harvey suit and sweated through the entire thing all night. I faked a stomach ache soon after midnight and got out of there as soon as I could. More to tell on this dating story during another lunch.
Anyhoo, In my first volume, I mentioned I was hitting the club as early as 14 years old, which sounds terrible coming out of my 36-year old mouth, lol. But back in the early 00s, all-age clubs were the move for a young teen like me trying to escape.
During one of my pre-18 club escapades in ’01 or ’02, my girlfriends and I “met” Ludacris. We were at the Powerplant somewhere way out in Phoenix. This was one of the few all-age clubs that had a 21+ side. They could co-mingle on the all-ages side, but we obviously couldn’t go on their side. Creepy!
Luda was performing that night. We were right up front near the stage but off to the side to watch him perform songs off his first two albums, Back for the First Time and Word of Mouf. Listen, early Luda had hits! Those first two albums are classics.
We followed him out through the backdoor when he finished performing, hoping to get a picture or autograph. We got neither. Only a finger handshake through a cracked window of whatever car he just hopped in.
Bummed we didn’t have a picture or proof to show folks at school on Monday. You know, if there is no proof no one believes you at that age, so we just went back inside the club.
Maybe 20 minutes later, I get bumped somewhat hard in the crowd, like someone is trying to maneuver through a tight space. I turn around, cock my head to the side, squint my eyes, and I’m like, “heeeyyyy.”
He puts his finger up to his lips, giving me the “shhhhh” signal. It was Luda. This fool done took out the cornrows, changed clothes, put in a new grill, and glided through the crowd like he was a regular dude. If I didn’t get bumped, I probably would have never known it was him.
I kept an eye on him all night, trying to spot that large fro in the crowd. The weird thing was that he stayed on the all-ages side most of the time versus heading to the 21+ section, which was an interesting observation.
I’m in the club story-sharing mode, so let me tell one more.
Let’s fast forward to 2004. I was in college at Arizona State and not 21, probably 19/20. Atlanta was a city I kept hearing more and more about as I got older. And after I crossed AKA in March 2004, I began to connect with greeks out in that area.
At the time, my mom was married to some dude who worked for America West, and I could fly free. So my behind was flying in and out of Atlanta on weekends with my girlfriend’s ID, frequenting some of the most elaborate clubs I’ve ever been to.
During one of my visits, my girls and I got invited to a Mannie Fresh listening party for his ‘04 album, The Mind of Mannie. It was at Visions, which was formally known as Club Kaya.
The party was wack. The album sounded wack. I just remember saying he needs to stick with the Big Tymers. After a few Midori Sours, my drink back then, I noticed this side door folks were going in. My naturally curious behind decided to wander over there and see what was happening because the party was not it.
The next time the door swung open, all I saw was money flying in the air and flashing lights. I thought to myself, this is where the party is at. So I posted up, waiting for the right opportunity to get to the other side. A few minutes later, I saw a crowd of girls getting escorted through the door, so I slipped in their crew, and viola, I was now in a jam-packed wall-to-wall club.
I looked up, and I saw signs that said BMF. I had no clue what that stood for or meant. I assumed it was just some record label. I just remember seeing like 50 dudes on stage throwing out money, being extra flashy, and women clawing to get to the front of the crowd.
After a little while, I had to go back to the boring side because I left my girlfriends there, and I knew they would be looking for me.
The next day, while riding on 285 to the Atlanta airport, I look up and see a BMF billboard with the words Black Mafia Family underneath the initials. It wasn’t until months later that I understood who and what BMF was.
Little did I know, the night before, I walked into one of the last major parties Big Meech threw in Atlanta before they got raided.
Over the holiday, Bae & I binged BMF on Starz, and it took me back to that moment in ’04 when I was mesmerized by the glitz and glamour when that side door swung open. This was the moment I decided I have to move to Atlanta.
It looked like a completely different world. And it sure as hell was.
Big Daddy
You ever have a song that just makes you feel good the moment it starts playing? Or what about a song that you haven’t heard in ages, and when it plays, it brings back all the feels and memories?
That is how I feel when I hear Heavy D’s Big Daddy, off his first solo album, Waterbed Hev. This was Heavy’s second-biggest hit outside of Now That We Found Love which dropped 6 years earlier in ‘91.
The ’90s was Heavy’s era. He starred in TV shows like Living Single, A Different World, and Fresh Prince, to name a few. And he played in some of our favorite films like B.A.P.S., Life, and New Jersey Drive.
Heavy was the man. Making big light skin men sexy. So when Big Daddy dropped, it just added to his swag.
Born in Jamacia, Heavy D & the Boyz were the first group to be signed to Uptown Records. This led to Heavy being a significant advocate for Puffy to land his internship with Uptown and Andre Harrell. I guess Puffy has to thank Heavy for his IN with Andre.
Apparently, in Heavy & Puffy's early years together, ’91 to be exact, put together a charity basketball game where a stampede broke out, and nine people died.
Both were ultimately held liable for the event. Reports say it was oversold and underinsured, which led to guests being squashed to the point where they couldn’t breathe or being trampled. Sounds unfortunately familiar.
In ’92, Heavy developed the beloved group Soul for Real, where he produced and wrote several songs, including the title track, on their debut album Candy Rain.
There is no doubt that Candy Rain is their biggest hit, but let’s not sleep on Every Little Thing You Do; that song was a hit too.
One of the members Brian Dalyrimple, who mainly sung background, was indicted on 145 counts of aggravated identity (mortgage) fraud in 2009. He claims none of his other brothers were involved, but some reports say at least one of them where.
And Brian knew his behind was guilty because he was on the run from the Duluth (a suburb in Atlanta, of course it was in Atlanta) police, and they finally caught him in North Carolina with his infant son, who at the time had been “missing” for over a month. Chhhhiilllleeee.
Anywhoo, Heavy D is a real gem to the 90s and hip-hop. We lost him at the tender age of 44. Ultimately the cause of death was due to blood clots in his legs that formed during an overly long flight. Wild! It just shows that we gotta take care of ourselves and stay active because you never know what will take you out of this world.
In his memory, enjoy this bop from Big Daddy.
Boy or Girl
I’ve had two dreams about the gender of the baby. The first one was about a baby girl and the second a boy. My husband has also had dreams featuring both genders.
At this point, we honestly have zero hunches. One day I think it’s a boy, and then next, I think we are having a baby girl. Either way, I am just praying for a healthy, happy baby.
But I do sit and wonder what it would be like.
If we had a boy, we would have the opportunity to see a little of our late fathers in this tiny human. I would get to sit back and watch lil’ man idolize one of the most amazing human beings I’ve ever known, my husband. Julian would get the chance to recreate what life would have been like if his father was still alive.
And we all know boys love their moms, like their first love. Having an incredibly thoughtful husband and a son would make me feel even more like the Queen of the castle.
Plus, I ain’t going to lie about this, it’s hard finding good men out here. There is a lack of great examples for young boys as they grow into men. I would love to set a wonderful example for a young man to understand how to treat their future partner and spouse.
Julian would show him that it is OK to show emotion and be vulnerable. Teaching him that is not a sign of weakness. Just thinking about that warms my heart.
But then I think what it would be like if we had a girl.
A mother-daughter relationship can be something special. But it also can be one of the most challenging relationships. Either you get along, or you don’t. There isn’t much in between from my personal experience.
When I look back at my early childhood years, there are things I wish I could be different. Having a daughter would allow me to do things differently and be different as a mother to a daughter.
I would be extremely intentional when raising a daughter because I remember how actions and words that were said to me at a young age have lingered well into my 30s.
I think every parent who raises a child wants to do things differently and give a different experience than they had. That’s what I would want if I were recreating a mother-daughter relationship with my child.
And then I think of how amazing Julian would be with a little girl—taking her on dates, showing her how she is supposed to be treated, letting her paint his face with makeup and nails with polish. Having tea parties and whatever else our little one might have him do.
Julian grew up with two brothers, so having a girl has always been exciting; to experience something he has never done before.
When I sit down and think about it, I am torn about our firstborn. But I know one thing for sure, they will be filled with unwavering love and unlimited support from two people who are beyond excited to start a family and give them every single thing that we didn’t have.
Eeekkkk, this year I am going to be a MOM!
Jems 💎
#watch
BMF (Starz) - Watch the rise of one of the biggest dope dealing crews out of Detriot
The Flight Attendant (HBOmax) - A dark comedy murder mystery. Another season is coming this year.
Invasion (Apple TV+) - I’m not a sci-fi fan, but this isn’t your typical sci-fi.
#memories
#read
The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett - I mentioned this in my last volume, but I wasn’t done reading it yet. A must because HBO is turning it into a series.
A Flicker in the Dark by Stacy Willingham - A great psychological thriller that will keep you guessing who dun it. I read this book in 4 days!
Well friends, that is all we have for lunch today! Are you full? It’s been great spending the first Monday of 2022 with you. I hope your day was as exciting as mine. Granted, I returned to work today, but I also got to see what my baby was up to this morning during my ultrasound. 😊
Cheers to another year of lunches together 🥂.
xo, Jemia
You are such a great writer. Thank you for sharing. You are going to be an awesome mom.
I’m a few days late, but I enjoyed lunch with you today. I admire your story telling capability and your memory!