Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts ⏤ Vol 33
A Tinder dating story, a jeweled nipple, and my 30-week pregnancy update.
Welcome to December! THEE best month of the year, it’s my birthday month!
While I know it is Sagittarius season right now, Capricorn season is truly the best out there. We end AND begin each year. We are the Alpha and the Omega. Can’t get any better than that. So if you are a Sag, have your fun, for now. The best season is rapidly approaching.
I am too excited about the plans I have for my birthday lunch date with you. I love ending the year with this celebratory volume.
Today we are having brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts for lunch because I instantly craved for them one day. Luckily I caught my husband on his way home from work. He grabbed me a box so I could devour a pair the moment he walked into the door. I haven’t had a pop tart in years! Maybe a decade. 🤷🏽♀️🤰🏽
Before we get into today’s topics, I want to take a moment and give some space to recognize and remember Dolph. His senseless murder took me back to how I felt when Nip was murdered. It just hit in an unexplainable way.
While watching the very entertaining last Verzuz with Bone & Mafia, at the end, when Bone did Crossroads, and Dolph’s picture came up, it was still unbelievable to me. That man was in the neighborhood, supporting a local business, buying cookies, and he was gunned down.
It’s so unfortunate our men, Black men, lives get cut so short. Whether it’s due to health, gun violence, or ridiculous prison sentences for crimes white people get slaps on the hand for, the longevity in Black men’s lives is scarce.
Today’s I have a special topic dedicated to the incredible and talented Memphis native. While it’s a tragedy, hopefully, this topic will bring you a smile and a laugh.
Let’s get into today’s topics.
The Nip Slip
Houstons in Memphis
I am officially on my 10-week countdown. It’s been a long journey, but I finally feel like I have reached the best and probably most challenging part of this pregnancy.
I feel incredibly beautiful when I put myself together. Something is stunning about a glowing expectant mother that takes your breath away. While my energy levels have been a roller coaster the entire time, when I do get it together, I feel quite powerful and exquisite knowing that I am the source carrying my family's legacy.
Women are incredible.
The best part is feeling Panda roll around and move inside of me. It’s creepy at times, but it’s so comforting to feel the little pushes, kicks, and dance parties.
I do wish Panda would chill out in the middle of the night, but you know, it is what it is now. At least I am getting prepared for what will come in a couple of months.
While I might be prepared for sleepless nights and insomnia, I am not physically prepared for this kid's arrival. I have a onesie, a pack and play, and two pairs of booties. We will get it together soon. We just finished our registry, so hopefully, our village will bless us very soon.
You might be thinking, what about the baby shower? We opted out of it. Never was excited about having one. I enjoy attending other’s but having one of my own was never a dream, honestly. Which, if you know me, sounds ridiculous because I love a good party.
Anywhoo, another weird pregnancy ailment had popped up over the last few weeks ⏤ sore wrist and fingers. Sometimes I can’t even twist open a jar; it’s so damn annoying.
I also had to finally ditch my wedding ring and band because they became super tight and uncomfortable thanks to my swollen fingers. I caught myself trying to stuff my finger into my rings this past Saturday for a Gala at the Art Museum. Ha! That was a joke. My finger turned red and swelled up the moment I forced it over my knuckles. I guess my silicone rings (which I had to order a half size bigger) will have to do for now.
It’s almost over, and soon I will be somebody’s mama. Eeeek!
The Nip Slip
You can’t speak on the early ’00s without Janet Jackson & Justin Timberlake’s Super Bowl half-time performance in 2004.
Hulu recently released episode 10 of The New York Times Presents series. This episode is entitled Malfunction: The Dressing Down of Janet Jackson.
While I knew what this documentary was going to be about, I was most curious to see how they would tell the story.
I thoroughly enjoyed how they highlighted Janet as a young Jackson. It also reminded me that Janet had two full albums released underneath her daddy before the iconic album Control dropped in 1986.
Her first two albums were very bubblegum pop-ish, and Janet never wanted to be in that lane, but that damn Joe tried to keep her there. And Sis was finally like…
and crossed over to the urban market.
I never put 2+2 together when listening to the lyrics of Control. It tells her story of breaking free to a tee.
The documentary also takes us on a journey where everyone was all up in Janet’s sexuality as she transitioned from a young adult into a grown-ass woman. The media is always up in OUR business trying to shun or silence Black women for just existing in the beauty that God graced us with.
So we get to the part of the episode where she was selected to perform for the Super Bowl.
After all these years, I completely forgot that Nelly, Kid Rock, and Puffy all performed at the same half-time show. That is how much focus was on this woman’s jeweled nipple.
You know Justin was a last-minute addition to the show. The producers wanted to add another surprise guest. They thought who better to add than Justin of N’SYNC.
Allegedly Janet changed something in the show at the last minute, and producers were unaware of it. Apparently, this is what caused the exposure. The change was made while Justin was still en route to the performance. He landed 20-min before he was supposed to perform. I assume he was told what to do and either did it correctly or incorrectly.
Either way, no one held him accountable for ripping her top and bra off. Or for his immediate interview after the performance where he is boastful and talking about it like “we gotta keep everyone on their toes” until he probably got a call from someone who told him to stop responding in that manner. If y’all remember, Justin was not remorseful or apologetic; he was giddy and shit days afterward.
And after that, Justin fully threw himself into Black culture. His toe was dipped into it a couple of years before working with Timbaland and The Neptunes in ‘02, but after the Super Bowl, he dived headfirst.
At this point, during the one-hour and eight-minute episode, I am hot. I get even hotter as it keeps going.
Janet wasn’t allowed to attend the 46th annual Grammy awards, but Justin was and won two Grammys in which he read a scripted apology for his “behavior.”
Janet released her 8th album, Damita Jo, the following month. It initially charted on Billboard, but folks still were focused on her nipple while Justin was showing up every got damn where on TV.
Then we get to the trial held by the FCC. Everyone points fingers at Janet, receiving all the blame in court, while white Justin is out here without a care, making his coin.
During the trial, it took a Black male democrat, Bobby Rush - IL, to speak up on her behalf and be like, “what about Justin Timberlake.” All the republicans were focused on Janet, not even discussing that Justin pulled the damn titty out.
In the end, Janet had to pay a fine while Justin cashing checks from McDonald’s commercials.
Oh, and then the ageism that came with this was disgusting—comments about her being almost 40 showing a middle-aged boob.
Bruh, I bet you if JLo titty popped out right now, folks would not call that’s shit middle-aged. Janet was 37 years old! Young AF, in her damn prime, looking right right and gorgeous.
Much more is discussed in the doc, so if you haven't checked it out on Hulu, make sure you do.
Oh and word on the street is a Janet documentary coming to Lifetime in January. It’s Janet’s story told by Janet! I will be tuning in.
One more thing. Do you remember earlier this year, Justin finally made a “real” apology on Instagram and specifically named Britney & Janet? Since this doc dropped, the comments are going wild.
Houstons in Memphis
In Vol 9. I give a teaser of a few chapter titles of a dating book I want to write. Highlighting some fascinating dates I had between the age of 28-33.
I start the series off with a story about a date I had in Memphis because this was when I decided to give Tinder a true shot and not play around on the app. While I Tinder still won the majority of the time, I got a ton of laughs and some really great stories to tell from it.
In the end, I won cause that is how I met my husband. But up until that point, pure comedy and WTF moments.
Here’s an excerpt from my first essay.
Around 11a, my phone rings, and it’s a Memphis number. Not sure who this is, I answer it.
Me: This is Jemia.
Brian: Listen to you sounding all professional.
This should have been the only red flag I needed, his response to my greeting.
Me: Who is this?
Brian: It’s Brian.
Me: Oh hey, I didn’t expect you to call me. Are you trying to meet for lunch?
Brian: Do you like fried fish?
Me: Yea, I do. Why?
Brian: I know this place where we can get fish plates off the truck. It’s nothing fancy, but the food is on point. We can meet there around 1p.
Me: 1p is a little late for me to be eating lunch. I’ve been at the office since 7:30a.
Brian: Oh, you gettin’ that overtime money.
Me: I am on salary. I have a meeting at 2p. The latest I could meet would be at noon.
Brian: Let me see if I can get out of work at that time. I will hit you back.
At that moment, I should have just let it go. I knew he wasn’t it, and I would be wasting my time. His phone etiquette alone was terrible. But my lonely behind didn’t listen to my intuition.
My phone buzzes around 12:15, while I am already at lunch with another colleague. I knew I wasn’t about to meet up with him. I made alternate plans.
Brian: Hey, I can’t make noon work, but let’s meet after work for dinner.
I was still trying to decide if I wanted to respond or not, so I just put my phone back in my bag and finished lunch.
A couple hours later, I responded to his text.
Me: Sounds good to me. Hit me up after you get off work.
The truth is, I was bored and wanted some company. Even though Brian wasn’t going to be the best company, he was someone I could hang with after work and kill time with.
I got to my hotel around 5:30p and was exhausted. I took a hot shower and got right into the bed. Before I knew it, I was asleep.
*cell phone rings*
With my eyes still closed, I answer the phone.
Brian: Daaammnnn, did you brush your teeth yet?
Me: What? Who is this?
Brian: It’s Brian. You don’t have my number saved yet? That’s how you do me?
Me: I’m half-sleep. I just answered the phone. What happened to us meeting up after work? What time is it in any way?
Brian: It’s 7. And I got caught up after work with something, but I am free now. Do you want to go bowling around 9?
Me: Bowling? You said we were going to go to dinner. I am not going bowling, nor am I meeting you at no 9 o’clock. You know what, it’s cool. I’ll catch you another time.
Brian: No, wait. You right you right. Ok you pick the time and place, and I will meet you there.
I hope you check out the entire story. There is one line from this story that my husband and I always say and crack up laughing every time.
What Happened to Brittany Murphy (HBOmax): I’ve always thought her death was an MF’ing mystery. This two-part documentary still doesn’t give me the answers I need. But it reminded me of why I know her death was no accident.
The Curse of Von Dutch: A Brand to Die For (Hulu): This brand was all the early ‘00s craze. And then one day it just went away, like that. You won’t believe what really happened to this brand. I was in shock learning what was happening behind the scenes of one of the biggest fashion brands during its time. Did you own any Von Dutch? I had a bag.
Single White Female — I caught this ‘92 classic movie before leaving Hulu last month. It reminded me of why I use the phrase to describe any crazed obsessed woman, regardless of race. It’s definitely worth a watch, even if you have to rent it. I lost count of the number of times I said, “this bitch is crazy.”
Harlem (Amazon Prime): Tracy Oliver, the creator of Girls Trip, is at it again with this salacious sexy comedy-drama starring Meagan Good, Grace Byers, and two new fresh talented, beautiful Black women. I’ve only watched episode 1, but I will be finishing the season before our next lunch date!
Learning that Peter Gunz is the new host of Cheaters leaves me laughably speechless. This clip probably sums up everyone’s same reaction to him hosting the show. But that did not stop me from pressing “add series to library” for Cheaters. I will absolutely watch Peter try and convince folks he, too, is a changed man.
Well friends, that’s all I’ve got for lunch today! I hope you enjoyed yourself and caught a laugh or two. I will see you for our final lunch of the year in two weeks and a big birthday celebration. Until then…xoxo.