Salmon Quesadillas — Vol 22
Salmon Quesadillas — Vol 22
Cocktails for June, group trip tips, and hands on my knees, shakin' ass, on my thot shit.
Hi Friend! How have you been doing? What’s been going on?
I’ve been exhausted over the past two weeks, and my creative spark is barely hanging on. And because of that, I needed a break from creating and curating content for a little bit. I even paused reposting content on @BlackWifeLife; yes, still running a user-generated focused account can still be draining.
One thing stayed top of mind, TheBlackWifeLife.com. I’ve begun to get a little more creative with the content and blogs we are sharing on the website. I’ve added a Food & Bev category with a resident food blogger from ATL, and one of my existing bloggers has begun to do monthly cocktail curations.
We are starting a new travel section on the blog featuring mini-city guides, catering to those cities people visit but have no clue where to eat or hang. Going one step further, we share where to find the Black folks or Black-owned businesses in these particular cities.
I’ve been creating, but just in a very different way.
Not to mention we were on a week-long trip visiting family and friends. Being away from your home, bed, shower, couch, routine, etc., can be tiring in itself.
Visiting loved ones is fun and exciting, but it can also be draining. There is never enough time. Just because you have unlimited time to spend bopping around the city doesn’t mean everyone else does. It’s hard finding the balance.
We enjoyed our visit, and I am glad to be back home. We left a day early, very glad we did.
Today’s Topics:
Group Trips
Thot Shit
Short and sweet, but still jam-packed with flavor 😜
Group Trips
I have two girls’ trips happening this summer — Denver & Las Vegas. I am counting down the days until I can have a fun time with a few of my favorite people.
It’s important to prioritize time with your friends and not let life and commitments take over every single waking moment of your life. You’ve got to make time for the people you love. Life will always be busy, filled with overcommitment projects and tasks. It’s up to you to say NO to some commitments followed by a YES to fun with your crew.
There will always be excuses swirling around from home life, work, family, children, spouses, etc. There is never a right time, so make the time. Group trips with great friends and even better vibes are enough needed to cure any hiccup you might have going on in your life.
Here are some tips to keep group trips going when your life is hectic:
Plan to see each other once per year. You can find one long weekend per year to hang with your favorite people, right? Instead of planning multiple meet-ups between friends, commit to having one [lavish] trip per year. Pick the same weekend or month every year; that way, everyone knows what to expect. Yes, things will always come up, but if you know every second weekend in July is reserved for your best girls, you will begin to plan for that weekend well in advance.
Rotate who plans the trips. I strongly believe group trips are best planned when 1-2 people are planning the entire thing. Set a budget upfront, then let it be left up to who plans the trip that year. At the end of each trip, draw names to see who plans the next trip.
There are 7 of us in one group, so each of us will plan a trip once every seven years. Talk about low pressure. It’s nice to send in my money, book a flight, and show up to something fun and exciting.
Always plan a trip, but have exceptions. We actually wrote Girls Trips bylaws to hold us accountable for our time together as @thesevengirlfriends. Our friendship and time together are important to us; we want to make sure it’s protected. We have clauses if someone gets pregnant or sick that still allow the party to continue. We also all agreed that we will still make the trip if at least 5/7 can make it. Never cancel the trip for one person, even the host. There is and always should be a backup plan.
Now, if your girl [guy] group is small 3-5, you might make an exception here if 1-2 ppl can’t make it. But work really hard always to have a backup plan. Our backup is to visit the friend who can’t travel in their home city.
Plan an overnight staycation. Sometimes all you have time for is one night away from home. Take advantage of this. Meet your bestie halfway in a city with a nice hotel that has a spa, pool, and restaurants on-site. Duo or group trips do not always have to be lavish and curated to the nine. Sometimes all you need is one good night in with your friend(s).
Pick places off the beaten path. Trips to Miami and Vegas (yes, I know I am going to Vegas) can get old really quick, which gives people a reason to back out. So pick a place that people don’t think of for a girl’s trip. Think about a mid-sized city for your next destination. This will also help lower costs for the entire group. If your group visited a major city the year before, consider something small the next year. Rotating experiences every year will keep the excitement alive. Not everything has to be a 247 turn up.
When in doubt, have a meeting. Not everyone wants to have a meeting about planning a group trip, but sometimes it’s necessary. The ladies I’m heading to Vegas with (this is the first time the 5 of us are traveling as a group) couldn’t iron out details through our group chat, so we hopped on a Zoom to talk about a plan for the trip, not once, but twice.
If you visit somewhere that requires ticket purchases or reservations (VEGAS!), it might be a good idea to talk about it together, especially if this is your first rodeo as a traveling crew. What sounds like a daunting task turned into an hour of ki-ki’ing, slight gossip, topped with a little shade. We figured out what restaurants we wanted to eat at, pool parties we wanted to grab tickets to, and places we wanted to go much faster this way than waiting for everyone to respond to a text that would probably get lost within 30 minutes. We all have that one group chat that if you blink, 80 messages have come and gone. This is that type of chat.
Some folks don’t like to be “organized” or “plan” group trips and go with the flow. But coming out of a season of lockdown where the reservation is the golden ticket everywhere, it’s not a bad idea. Plus, who doesn’t love to see their beautiful friends’ faces for a little bit?
Who’s ready to plan a yearly trip with their crew now? Do you already have a trip planned? Where are you going? Reply or leave a comment. I want to know where you’re going now summer has finally arrived.
Thot Shit
I usually highlight my favs from the 90s because this era was extremely monumental to my upbringing and life. Still, I have to give some flowers to my favorite girl of the era, Tina Snow aka Megan Thee Stallion.
Why are people (mainly white men in politics and a few white women who support them) so mad at her latest music video, Thot Shit. I absolutely love it. She tells the story of service industry workers and highlights how [white] men always have something to say about [Black] woman’s body, attire, and attitude. Yet, they secretly love every single thing about it.
After the disturbing opening scene of this politician trolling the internet and unzipping his pants, he receives a phone call from Meg. She says:
"The women that you're accidentally trying to step on are everybody that you depend on. They treat your diseases, they cook your meals, they haul your trash, they drive your ambulances, they guard you while you sleep — they control every part of your life. Do not fuck with them."
In the first minute and 40 seconds of this video, Meg is making a clear statement. Not only will you hop on Twitter and talk down on what artists like Meg & Cardi B are doing to “our children” [insert eye roll], but in the next moment, you will watch and fantasize about the same artist when no one is watching.
You will hire the same woman who you disregard and degrade to watch your children, clean your home, do your administrative work, serve your food, and more than likely be the center of every single fantasy you have in your life. AND for a lot of them, the same woman excels past you in life, and you cannot stand it. You know the saying, hate is a form of jealousy.
Listen, I love the video. Not because of the ridiculous strength of knees of all of the beautiful women, but because she is telling a real ass story and entertaining us at the same dame time.
My good sis Meg decided to clap back at all of her critics in a major way, doing what she knows how to do best which is to be her unapologetic beautiful best self.
What are your thoughts? What did you think about the video? Reply or leave a comment and let me know.
Jems 💎
#watch
Rihanna’s Savage Fenty Show Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 (Amazon Prime)
If you haven’t watched either of these fashion show musicals by the great Rihanna, take two hours and kick back and get your entire life.
High on the Hog (Netflix) — One of the best documentaries I’ve seen in a very long time.
#lifecheck
If you are caught up in setting “timelines” for yourself, spend some time in this twitter thread. You will see all you are doing is stressing yourself out. Your time will always come, trust me!
#cook — Salmon Quesadillas (Recipe)
That is all for you today friend. My flame needs recharging, but I still promise to always show up for you. Even if I show up only a little bit, I will always show up. See you next month for lunch. I’ll be charged up and ready. Can’t wait. Xo