Romaine Lettuce⏤Vol 8
The Isley Brothers, finding yourself, and ALL Black men.
Hey! How have you been? Anything excited happen since we last had lunch? We know one preeminent thing that has changed, we finally have a President-elect, and it ain’t the fat orange man. Y’all have had enough of politic-talk from me for a while, so that is all I will say on that topic, for now.
Last weekend Julian and I went to Charleston to visit one of his friends. I absolutely loved the charm and character of the city. The buildings are crafted and designed to make you feel like you are in the small world of great eats and no worries. (Although we did walk past the market where they held slave-trades, the ugliness of our country is very prevalent in SC.) I can see why people go a little over the top while hanging out in Charleston.
The food is undeniable, but this is why I am having lettuce today for lunch, because I ate enough food to last me through today. I don’t know how people can eat that heavy all the time. Plus, last night, we grilled Romaine lettuce for the first time, and we were thoroughly surprised. Salt, pepper, olive oil, and 3 minutes on that open flame is all you need.
Anywhoo, we will be revisiting Charleston, less than 2 hours away, good eats, AND plenty of places Julian can take pictures of me. Sounds like a winner, lol.
Ok, today’s topics!
Season 6 Episode 22
Girlfriends - Season 6, Episode 22
Most people who’ve been waiting for Girlfriends to appear on a streaming service are either A) finished the entire series or B) still in their current binge. I am in season 7.
We all know Joan’s obsession with getting married, fitting in, and being better than Toni Childs. However, at the end of season 6, the pain that Joan was in is undeniable, and as I was watching episodes 21 & 22, I felt like I was watching a moment in my life when I was falling apart. My situation was not the same as Joan’s, I didn’t throw up on myself at some lame Hollywood party or miss the most important day in my BFFs life, but I did total my car trying to be someone I was not.
The pain Joan was in clouded her judgment. Some would say it was her behavior or attitude that caused all of this to happen, but it was pain and probably years of it. The only way she knew how to deal with it was to morph into something she was not. That is exactly what I did; I turned into someone I was not to appease another person. We’ve all been there before.
As I thought episode 22 couldn’t get any worse for Joan, her Porsche rolled down a hill, and I was like damn, I know exactly how that feels. Now my car didn’t go rolling down a hill, but I turned left when I thought it was clear and BAAM, ran right into another car, and my airbags deployed, shaking me the fuck up. Instead of me thinking, “OMG, my car, my life,” I said to myself, “Jemia, if this isn’t a sign that you are in a place in your life you don’t need to be, then I don’t know what.”
After bystanders helped pry my front door open, I rolled onto the curb in tears unscathed. My tears were not for what just happened, but the tears were saying, “how did I let myself get to this point.” I wanted something so bad that wasn’t for me. I was pushing something onto my life that didn’t need to be there. I believe that it took making a poor decision to give me the wake-up call I need. And the poor decision had nothing to do with me not checking a 3rd time before I made my left turn, but it was where I was going and why. I never made it to my intended destination.
If you watched season 7 of Girlfriends, Joan disappears to New Orleans to volunteer during Hurricane Katrina’s devastating aftermath to center herself and get back on track. And that is exactly what I did, I didn’t go to volunteer after a hurricane, but I did change my scenery to help me regain what I had lost.
I tell this story because we’ve all been at a low point in our lives, feeling like we will never get that job, promotion, more money, relationship, marriage, baby, family, jean size, or whatever. Just know, giving up who you are and what you deserve will never make it come faster.
When this commercial came on TV, I was speechless. I absolutely love it. I’ve always been a fan of Etsy, and they often speak out for what is right, and this commercial let me know they really support ALL Black lives.
Watching this commercial made me feel included because to see me means to see all sides of being Black. I stand for my people, ALL my people. You can’t say Black Lives Matter if you do not include everyone’s story.
Black men and their sexuality have been left up to the standards of others for years that it frustrates me. White men have gotten the liberty and acceptance to be gay more than Black men. While Black men still struggle with being open and do not get as much grace or acceptance. Just like everything else in our Black lives.
This commercial says, “I see you,” but this I see you comes from OUR community, not those who live outside our eyes and skin. We’ve got to accept our own people first before we expect others to follow. Transparent moment, I’m slightly crying as I’m sitting with you because I am so passionate about my people’s rights, including the right to be exactly who they are, not what society or their family/friends want them to be.
Round of applause to you Etsy, y’all did this. And this is why I will always have an Etsy shop, because I can support a business that supports every part of my culture.
Check out my shop, and don’t forget to bookmark it. Something new is dropping real soon, but check out my T-Shirt designs and support my Black-owned business while you are there.
Distance - A Playlist
The temperatures are cooling outside, well in most places because it’s still 70-75 degrees here in SC, and this is usually prime cuffing season. But with the way Covid is rapidly rising, most are staying away from loved ones this holiday season. But my girl Bee Sherel put together this FIRE AF playlist for BlackWifeLife® that will get you through any moment. And if Bae is near, far, or still on their way into your life, this playlist is everything you need during this season.
With gems like Voyage to Atlantis by The Isley Brothers, Come See Me by 112, and the beautiful sounds of Aaliyah, you know it’s hard to come across her music on any streaming service. You will want to turn on this playlist, light a candle, pour a drink, and vibe out.
The playlist is available on Tidal, Spotify, and Apple Music. Check it out, and let the fine curator know what you think. BlackWifeLife® Playlist - Distance.
Oh, and while you are listening to this playlist, check out some articles on TheBlackWifeLife.com!
Let’s Make Cocktails!
While we are the subject of vibes and BlackWifeLife®, I want to extend the invite to a virtual mixology class that is happening THIS Wednesday, November 18th @ 8p ET on Zoom. One of my BWL writers owns a mobile bartending business will do a live mixology class for us. With Covid impacting your bar and restaurant visits and temps cooling, why not learn how to make a good drink at home. Plus, now you have this bomb playlist, a drink is a must.
Join us for cocktails + conversation; sign-up now. Spaces are limited.
It’s been great hanging with you this Monday. We chatted about a lot, but I will leave you with this final nugget, if Jeezy & Gucci can get together and share a stage when these two tried to literally kill each other, and a casualty was involved, anything is possible. Have a great day, be blessed, and remember, our VP-elect is a BLACK WOMAN!