Honey Wheat Bread ⏤ Vol 17
Hello Friend!
We are just flying through 2021, and I ain't mad at it.
We are enjoying a nice sandwich on bread that three Black men make out of Chicago for lunch today. They are the FIRST Black-owned sliced bread company. Check out their website and order some loaves today. I recommend honey wheat.
It's been three weeks since we had time together. What's been going on? Anything new? Reply and share your news with me.
Here is what I've been up to:
I got my first dose of the vaccination — no side effects besides a sore arm for a couple of days, and then the soreness came back randomly a week later, but that’s it.
BlackWifeLife® turned 2 last month. I had a champagne toast with a new friend/fellow blogger to celebrate.
I took an overnight girls’ trip to Miami for some shopping, sun, and a good meal. Have brunch @ Limonada Bar + Brunch and dinner @ Komodo on your next visit.
I know one thing, travel this spring, and summer will explode. Please be safe; we are still in a panorama. But I get it, you [we] gotta get out. Just be safe doing it.
Mask it up on the plane. I wear a shield + mask to protect my eyes. Carry sanitizer wipes for surfaces while traveling, and always have your hand-sani on deck. Wash your hands frequently. The basics work people. It can be avoided.
Ok, let's have a little chit-chat today, why don't we.
Here are today's topics:
The Silver Fox Club
Triggers
Feeling alive
The Silver Fox Club
I might have seen Mr. Steal Your Grandmother a few years back when a girlfriend sent a photo of a fly AF gentleman who probably was in his late 60s but looked like he could run with the best of them.
Since then, the increase in Zaddies (as the ladies like to call them) has been rising.
I love our men, Black men. What I love the most is how they (and the ladies) get better and better with time. We age backward, yes we get older every day, but our grace, finesse, and style are timeless; it stands still.
Last night was another great example of how we get better with time.
Earth, Wind & Fire and The Isley Brothers graced the stage for a right-on-time Easter night celebration of soul music. The music that our parents grew up on that cascaded down into our lives which in turn will pour into our children and their children.
If you did not grow up listening to Earth, Wind & Fire on Saturday mornings while doing chores, or heard The Isley Brothers late in the evenings when grown folks were being grown, then maybe last night didn't do much for you, but it did everything for us.
But let's talk about 79-year-old, soon to be 80 Ronald Isley, aka Mr. Biggs. He looks better now than he did 20 years ago.
I am not in a rush to turn my clock forward, but it's images like this let me know that age is nothing but a number like my good sis Aaliyah told us '94. She might have been referring to her tender age of 14/15 when she was entering the music industry, but I am referring to growing older in this context.
During my various swooning sessions last night over Ron, a good sis dropped in the group chat that Ron has a 15-year-old son. I was like, "wait, huh?"
Life doesn't have to stop.
It doesn't mean that you have to have a kid at the age of 65, but it means that every year of life gives you a chance to do more and experience more. I think we should never stop living and having fun.
I plan on having trips with my girls until we can't get on a plane or ride in a car for long periods of time. And of course, I will never stop having Baecations.
Age is nothing but a number; it's about your mindset. Live life to the fullest, and take care of yourself. If you drink your water, get rest, moisturize, eat well, work out, and laugh. Life will be good to you.
Let's toast to the good life. Because last night, we got our entire life.
And let's give a special special cheers to Verdine who's press has been laid for years without a hair ever been out of place. This brotha has been smooth all his life.
P.S. If you haven't check out @silverfoxsquad on IG yet, ladies, have at it.
Triggers
During a lunch last year, I mentioned that I finally found a Black therapist. I've committed to sessions with her for the rest of 2021, if not beyond. I noticed that I've been able to unpack and connect dots to emotions and triggers since spending consistent time with her.
I've had a therapist in the past, but it's only been for a season or a moment when I am really struggling with something. I could have acted the same this time around when searching for some professional help, but I decided to stick with it, even when I feel like life is going right. Very glad I did.
Lately, I've been trigger by something. I understand why it triggers me, but I couldn't understand where it stemmed from for the life of me. I've been trying to connect the dots, and it wasn't working.
I would say things like, "well, I've been in this situation with this person before, so I think I am triggered because it's a familiar feeling." But my therapist hit me with this question during our last session, and I had a moment.
She said, "What am I reattaching and going back to when I am triggered? Take away the feeling of you've been here before, and really think about the place you go when that trigger appears."
It clicked for me at that very moment.
I was always revisiting previous experiences but not searching within those experiences for where the true emotion lies.
Like any good therapist, she gave me a homework assignment. I have to write down what triggers me when it comes to the topic we are working through.
I've never done this before; it seems quite scary. To list out all of the triggers and see them in black and white right in front of my eyes. That's heavy, very heavy. But working on yourself is not easy; it's not supposed to be.
If you have an ongoing situation that is triggering and you can't seem to shake or get over it, maybe it's time to think beyond the experiences; search for the root of why that person or situation takes you there. Yes, it’s a familiar feeling, but it's more than that. I never separated the two until now.
Feeling alive
I saw this tweet last month.
When I first saw it, I said what I thought was supposed to be the "correct answer," which was something spiritual or non-work related. But then I realized that was a lie. I had to check myself because why am I telling myself something that I know isn't true. Like Steve Harvey sharing fabricated stories last night from the 70s, lmao.
Here's the real answer — I feel most alive when I am being creative and creating something.
It's tough for me to sit and be idle for long periods of time. I can binge TV shows and have lazy days around the house, but typically I can only do that once a week. My energy light begins to dim when my hands are not in something. Creativity keeps me going; it helps me feel alive and thrive.
I write a newsletter about random things, for goodness sake. If this doesn't tell you I HAVE to be creative to survive, I don't know what else to say, lol.
But other things make me feel alive:
riding passenger with Bae on a sunny day listening to Anita Baker — this does my soul so good, and it’s no one in the world I would rather do this with. Plus, who doesn't like being outside when the sun is showing us all her glory.
spending 1:1 time with friends — I love a good group outing, but the intimacy of dedicated 1:1 time is something I've got to have. Even in the midst of girls’ trips, I am very intentional to get individual time in. During the pando, I've fallen in love with spot FaceTime calls.
a good meal and a beautiful restaurant — my idea of hanging out has changed much over the years, but one thing hasn't, and that a delicious meal at a beautiful restaurant.
detaching from technology — because I create so much using technology, sometimes it's overload. Finding times to not be concerned or worried about a call, text, tweet, or post is invigorating. And when I still want my wheels to turn, I'll pick up a puzzle book or read.
When I'm not creating, one of the above fills my cup until it's time to be creative again.
What makes you feel most alive? Reply or share in the comments. I love to know what you get lost in. Maybe we have some things in common.
Jems 💎
#read - Everything Inside: Stories by Edwidge Danticat
#watch
Tina (HBO)
Fake Famous (HBO)
#inspiration
#laughs
Friend! We had a good lunch today, right? I love spending this time with you; I hope you enjoy it as well. A little love always goes a long way. Have a beautiful week. See you again on Monday, April 19th!