Birthday Cupcakes⏤Vol 10
Sleepovers, fight party, and Love and Hip Hop Hollywood.
Hello friends! It’s the Monday before the most wonderful time of the year—my birthday! Oh, and of course Christmas. This year I will be 35, and I feel like I blinked, and time fast-forwarded. I was just celebrating year 30 a day ago, but hey, when life is beautiful and exciting, the time flies.
Anywhoo, today’s lunchtime chat is dedicated to ME, duh it’s my birthday and my tenth edition, so it’s a celebration bitches!
Let’s take a stroll down birthday memory lane, why don’t we.
December 23, 1985 at 12:23pm
Yes, I was born on 12/23 at 12:23; it’s why I’m so magical 😉. I came home in a Christmas stocking. The earliest memory-story I have of this day is my mom’s good friend Ms. Trina seeing me for the first time (I think through the hospital glass) and saying, “Is that an Asian baby?” Every time I hear that I laugh so hard. Looking back at old pictures, I was racially ambiguous a day or so out. Slick jet black hair and my eyes barely opened, I can see why she would say this, especially in the 80s when peoples filters were next to none. I wish I could find this picture to share— a giant 8lb pale baby with rolls on rolls stuffed into a stocking. Just picture it.
It was at my godmother’s house, and that is all I know. I mean who remembers their 1st birthday party. But Ms. Trina is behind me. I hear her voice every time I see her face. I’m sure you know someone like that. Or is it me?
My Birthday Twin
Kristy & I have been sisters since we met in pre-k. We grew up celebrating all of our birthdays together until my mom moved me to Arizona when I was 12.
One year, I don’t remember the birthday year, we had a hotel party for our birthday. This was right around when little girls start to understand attitude and mean-girling. Well by this time I had moved out of Baltimore city and into the county, so my friends were all white and Kristy's friends were still from the eastside of Baltimore, Black. This was also the first year Kristy wanted to be cute in front of her friends and act like me and her hadn’t been butt buddies our entire lives. It really hurt my feelings now that I think about it because she was my best friend and she was basically trying to diss me. I might still be hurt y’all bear with me, lol.
Kristy’s friends were mean, real mean. Here I am still slightly innocent and childlike and I just remember thinking to myself how old are some of these friends she got. I swear at least two of them were like 13 the way they looked. Reflecting back on it now, I can see how Baltimore county somewhat kept my innocence while the city of Baltimore was slowly chipping away at my best friend. Things that a little girl shouldn’t know about or do, Kristy and her group of friends were experts in.
We were all piled into my room at one point, about 15 girls, and then it happened. A fight broke out. A fight broke out between Baltimore County and Baltimore City. We couldn’t have been no older than 8 and we had security knocking on our hotel room door because someone called to complain about the noise. I don’t know what really happened, but I do remember one of Kristy’s friends flipping the hair of my friend and calling her “white girl” (she was white) and that was it. We lost the fight.
When my mom got to the room, she had a separate room on a different floor, and she was furious. Let’s just say we never brought our friends together again after that party. Kristy always came to mine out in the county and I never went to hers in the city.
For my 10th birthday party, I had my first sleepover with almost 20 girls. We were living in Cockeysville, Maryland and this was when I was going through an identity phase in my life. Going from having nothing but Black girlfriends to having maybe 3 (including Kristy) was shell shock. My fair skin and long hair made my friends call me white chocolate. Looking back, why was I even OK with it? I was a kid, with no friends who desperately wanted to be liked.
This birthday party is when I felt like I finally made it to the “IN” crowd in the county. And the popular girls in school agreed to come to my party. Yo, kids are so mean! So the house was FULL of 10 & 11-year-olds running around, talking about boys, and watching horror movies. As usual, Kristy came to the party, and I have a distinct memory of her sitting in the corner pouting. I walk over to her and she said these exact words “you have a lot of white friends”. My response, “they are not that bad”. Crazy how race affects children at such a young age, especially Black children.
Here is my daddy being the best ever hanging with us obnoxious double-digit gals.
12th Birthday (I think)
When I moved to Arizona, I lost my racial identity even more. Now I really felt like I was an outsider. MLK wasn’t a recognized holiday and I was one of a hand full of Black people in the entire middle school. So I adapted. I forced myself to listen to Hansen and tried to accomplish the messy bun look. And as you can see below, I failed miserably.
I can’t seem to find any photos from this glorious celebration, but it was a night to remember. I had a limo take me and probably like 10 of my friends to Club Level (all ages) in Tempe, AZ. I’ve been clubbing on my birthday since 16 no wonder I was worn out once I hit my 30s...lol.
This was the time frame where Joe Budden sone “Pump it Up” was playing everywhere. There was a dance contest happening and my behind decided to volunteer myself for some spotlight rump-shaking in my booty shorts, I won. Great birthday!
I was always the youngest out of my friend group so I usually had to borrow an ID to go anywhere with my friends. I used to borrow my girlfriend Danielle’s ID when we would go to clubs in Phoenix and one time it got taken from the bouncer and the “real” Danielle showed up 30 minutes later and they didn’t even want to let her in. I also would take Danielle ID to Atlanta when I was 19/20 where I would be all up in Club Visions. Then when I went home to Maryland, I would snag Sarah ID to go to Republic Gardens and Love. Hey, a girl had to have bi-coastal IDs, ha!
So when my 21st birthday FINALLY came around, I was ready to be official in the club. My girlfriend Fendy and I went to H20 on the Waterfront in DC. The night was a blur, too much Grey Goose and we stumbled back to her dorm room on campus at Bowie State and passed out. But that was a usual weekend routine for us in our early 20s. Club and then her dorm room to snuggle in the XL twin bed.
This was an interesting birthday, to say the least. I was in LA visiting my mom because she had moved out there for a little bit and my cousins pushed me to get out of the funk I was in (I had just broken up with a bf like a few weeks before) and dragged me to the club.
Well, my cousin had this one friend with her who gave me weird vibes from the moment we picked her up from her mother’s house. She got in the car and within 5 minutes I knew she was a fake Hollywood star. She started telling a story that included phrases like “do you know who I am” in it. Anywhoo...she was booked to host a party at some club. Typically this comes with free entry, bottleS, and a table. Well, when we arrive, hunnie ain’t get much, at all.
After 30 minutes of lameness, I decided to send one of my friends from college a text. I knew he threw parties in LA, and I wanted to see what he had going on. We ended up at one of the hottest spots in the city, thanks to me. And homegirl was all up in VIP acting like she got us there. No no boo-boo. Sit down.
She only lasted one season (season 2) on Love in Hip Hop Hollywood. This picture sums up my entire mood having to deal with her on my birthday night. My cousin made up for it the next night, so I forgave her, lol.
My friends had to convince me to do something for this birthday, I wasn’t up for much. Plus my 30th was so bomb, I was still living in the memories from that one. And this was one of the first birthday celebrations I invited my mom to come hang with me and my friends. She was so excited.
This was one year after me going natural and I straightened my hair for this night and boyyyyyyy you couldn’t tell me nothing, nothing. I was flinging my hair around like I was a schoolgirl again.
But that night at the club, what was straight and voluminous, turned into a large triangle-shaped puff.
I haven’t hit my big day just yet, but I am more than excited to enter another chapter of life. Year 34 was beautiful, but also challenging and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Now for my birthday gift! Did you get me something?!
Well, no worries, you still have plenty of time. For my birthday, if you could share your undying love for Monday Lunch where ever you social, that would be just enough. And for those who want to go above and beyond, send a sis a cash app $jemiaaw.
Thanks for kicking off my birthday week with me friend. I hope you enjoyed a walk down birthday memory lane with me.
Until next time….